my life is good here in Camden, New Jersey. it is very good.

I gotta be honest, I love being the art teacher. I love the squeals of excitement as the first and second graders mix their own purples, oranges, and greens. I love chatting with the kids as I walk them home in the hot hot heat of the afternoon. i love living on meager food rations, in an un-airconditioned home, in the blistering heat. It's tough but I love it. I love baking brownies with my first grade girls, and playing tag with my 4th graders. i actually love coaching basketball, and love pushing the kids to do their best during their exciting but difficult basketball games. i love it.

I wont lie, the kids often get on my nerves, my housemates (and I) can be inconsiderate and a pain in the ass to be around, the heat drains me and leaves me exhausted, and my voice is perpetually gone... but still I can't shake the underlying sense of purpose and meaning. it is just so good.

my heart is being challenged regarding some of the prejudgements I have about life in inner cities. the teenage pregnancies, the gang violence, the drug market... I can't claim to really get any of it, but I feel my heart softening towards the young men and women (and the old) who walk these paths. There is just something about Camden that draws me in. There is something about the people here, something in the strength and the perserverance etched in their faces that captures me. it's a humbling thing.

i stood quietly in my classroom today at about 10pm, all was dark save the christmas lights that lined the white board. I just wanted to soak in the moment- the reality that I am an art teacher in an inner city, and there I stood in my very own classroom. I have no idea how I got here, but Lord knows I'm overjoyed that I am.

one day at a time, my heart is growing up.
mm, mm, mm.

ps.

my dear friend Ashley from CherryHill, NJ asked me today "Shayna, does Canada have their own language?". I tried not to laugh in her face. but I failed...

ha! O america.