Oh God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

in all aspects of my life.

give me the courage to love with an open heart.

amen.

did you hear?

today, oh today, oh today.

the people here utterly amaze me.

so much happened today, and it was all worthwhile. in the mornin' we had choir practice. YES - actual BLACK GOSPEL CHOIR practice (with actual black people! and that includes ME!!).... i'm lovin' it! But get this, we were only given about 50 minutes to learn three songs, and we are expected to perform these three songs at 3 different church services before 1000+ people (and i'm not mistaken, over a thousand people) without any other practices TOMORROW MORNING. Wild. Absolutely wild. But I gotta be honest, I'm e-x-c-i-t-e-d.

can I tell ya'll about the craziest part of my day? I was sitting at the piano just messin' around for a minute when some of the other interns came in to join me. Dacia, with her deep soulful voice, added a sweet sweet harmony to the tune I was makin' up, Chase beat-boxed and Will took percussion on any hard surface he could find. It was legit. Then this 17 year old kid named Has (pronounced H-ah-z) came in to join us. I love this kid - i genuinely love him. He's a big guy, maybe 300+ lbs, and has burnt chocolate skin. His smile is beautiful and his presence is deep. If I'm honest I was intimidated the first time I laid eyes on him a couple days ago, but today he just sat in on our jam session without any fuss. Well, after the commotion died down he grabbed hold of my hand and asked in his beautiful street talkin' way if I would sing a section of the song he'd recently written. I was BLOWN AWAY that he'd ask me of all people, so of course my answer was "yeah".

Fast forward 6 or 7 hours. the work/prep day has passed and I'm once again at the piano with Has and Will. Will plays the keys, I learn Has' tune, and then the magic begins. The song was deep. so incredibly deep. In the verses Has raps poetic and heart breaking words about a father who never showed him any love or respect, the pain of trying to understand his loveless world, and the hypocrisy from others that leaves him jaded; his words convey his resolve to be the opposite of his father and to live as a man with some actual integrity. I can't do him justice in this blog but the moment he opened his mouth and started rappin' on top of Wills soft piano accompaniment, I was lost. I couldn't believe the depth of emotion and talent in this one young man. I took the chorus and sang out what Has' voice couldn't:

"How could you hurt me

how could you leave me

I was your only child

how could you forsake me"

tears, tears, tears. I could feel 'em sting the back of my eyes as I was singin' his words, and watchin' him rhyme about the trauma in his life. it was so real, so deep, so holy. man oh man.

a lot of other things happened today. a lot of other good good things, but that time with Has really stirred my soul. He inspired me. Hell, I'm still inspired. i'm just in awe that I got to be apart of that moment. man oh man.

peace & love.

ps. i feel like I'm typin' in the way the people around here talk. I'm not tryin' to fake anything, trust me. Its honestly just comin' out this way (plus, droppin' your "g's" is just cool). try to love me anyways. ;)
PEACE.

Day 1

So, I am now here in Camden, New Jersey. I really can't believe it. After months of anticipation, and not a little prayer, I've actually arrived.

This city has so much color. Not just that the folks who live here are colored - cause they certainly are - but there's something about these streets, the many abandoned homes, the men and women sitting out on the front steps of their row homes, and the children splashing in the water from a fire hydrant that really gives this place character.

I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore, and I'm humbled by how ignorant I am about life outside of the west coast of Canada. The air is hot and muggy here. South Camden is the former home to a prison, and the current home to a sewage treatment plant, and a garbage dump - so the air is also toxic. The skin of the people who live here is as dark as mine (I've never been the majority before...its a nice change). Most of Camden is black and latino. And due to many different factors (which I am learning about each day that I'm here), Camden is one of the most impoverished cities in North America. I wouldn't doubt it. Though the town has a lot of character it is obviously poor. Though the dark skin of the folks here is beautiful, its obvious in their faces that life out here can get ugly. I've only been here two days and already I know I'm in over my head.

I'm working at Camp Faith here in South Camden. There are several others too (Camps peace, saved, promise, spirit, freedom, and courage). And I live in a place called The Brick House. Its got a lot of character. I'll take a video tour of it with my camera and post it in a minute. I live in a house with 9 other girls (Rachel, Ashley, Dacia, Doreen, Sarah, Natalie, Suzi, Katie & Sammie) and we've got one and one half bathrooms - its gonna be one hell of an adventure.

if you wanna pray for me, just pray God continues to be who he is. I know he's with me, I know he's in this city - hell, he's even with the 16 year old selling crack on the street corner. As long as God continues to be who he is, then all of us have a chance of finding meaning and hope in all this. I'll try to keep this blog updated, but if i'm honest I can't make any promises about the frequency.... i'm just saying. ;)

peace & love.

check out: www.urbanpromiseusa.org