Follow the ruby red road.

the end.

Camp is officially over.

I said goodbye to all my kids yesterday and today, and Lord knows I'm really gonna miss em.

Here are a few more pictures for you to love on.

Here you have brothers Keshaun (age 7) and Aair (age 5). For the most part Keshaun is a great kid. Helpful, good to his lil bro, and full of energy. But when he throws a tantraum, he trumps the rest. For a solid 30 minutes he will refuse to cooperate with me or any other leader until he gets his way. Of course, I'm not having any of that, and his little behind winds up in a lot of trouble. But such is life eh? I love him through our highs and lows. He's got a good heart, and if anything, he's got a lot of determination. His little bro Aair has a very cute lazy eye that gives him an air of mystified innocence (no joke). His voice is soft, he never gets upset, and loves to show off how well he can crash his little scooter (and himself ) into trees. Its pretty damn adorable.

Here you see sisters Junay and Destiny. These young women are full strength and dignity. Junay is in the 4th grade, is a rough talker, and is sweet as hell. She loves roughin' it with the boys in 4 square and competing unrelentingly with her classmate William Wiles. Destiny is in 2nd grade and is absolutely beautiful. She loves taking me by the hand down to the playground where she consistently beats my butt at any type of tag we play. She's feisty and incredibly intelligent. These sisters take the cake.

This is a beautiful picture. On the left you see Nedeshka. She's in 2nd grade and has beautiful, ultra-curly golden hair. She's a mixed baby and is stunning. I love her a lot, and I gladly soak up any moment I get with her. On the right (with the eye patch) is Itzaida. She's in the 1st grade and is the cutest little girl this side of the Atlantic. She has the bad habit of thinking that the rules we give the kids don't apply to her. When we tell the kids to be quiet, she always misses the memo and can be heard gaily chatting to whomever will listen. She's super spunky, is always well dressed (hence her fake pearl necklace), and wows all the leaders with her green/yellow/purple eyes. She's a keeper.

This is Rene. He kind of looks like Spock. Not in this picture, but in real life. He's so good. so so good. If I could take a kid home I'd take Rene. thats all I've got to say.

This is Sean. He's in 2nd grade and he's never caused me any trouble. He's a bit stubborn sometimes, but then again, aren't we all? He's often very serious. Though he smiles a lot he's not a huge jokster, and doesn't cause many issues... he just kinda goes with the flow. And when you have dozens of kids who are constantly pushing against the flow, ones like Sean are a breath of fresh air.

Here you see (from left to right starting in the back row) Mira, Shira, Dajah, Shayla, Brianna, Tunisha and Brittany. I hung out with these 7 girls for the last day together. It was just me and all of them, and you can bet that things didn't exactly go smoothly. All of them (expect for Shira) are in the 1st and 2nd grade and definitely always have something to say and always want to be the first one to say it. They are all so beautiful (don't you agree), and though they sometimes gave me a lot of grief, they also brought me a lot more joy. These young women live tough lives but still fight hard to play hard. I love 'em. love 'em love 'em love 'em.

thats all for today. I'm not sure if I'll keep updatin' this thing. I leave Camden on Friday (August 13) and will be back home on the 22nd. If you're interested in the rest of my life... well, just talk to me in person ;)

thanks for comin' along with me on this journey, esp. to those of you who kept up with this little page of mine.

peace & love

little women

me and some of my girls.

Tonight was Girls Night, and c'etait incroyable! I had a blast hanging out with the young ladies of camp Faith this evening. After a yummy (but ridiculously greasy) dinner of pizza, chips, cookies and punch, me and the other staff members collected the makeup and nail polish we scrounged from a near by dollar store and dolled our little ladies up. Needless to say, the girls loved this. Now I don't wear make up or nail polish, but luckily my girls were young enough to not care that my work was far below high quality. I absolutely LOVED doing this. Even though most of them were in their fancy dresses and cute heals, they went wild with excitement. They hooped, hollered, ran around in circles, and danced without music.... it was beautiful-I loved every noisey minute of it. At one point in the evening a few boys tried to sneak in to disrupt our fun. Well boss lady Jenn gave the girls the go ahead to attack, and all 25 little misses mobbed the sorry young men till they were begging for mercy. I sat quietly in the background and watched the scene. it was something pay-per-view woulda paid good money to air... ;). Little inner city women are a wonder to behold. I'm in love.

this was a good night.
thanks Lord.

the chillen's

Want to see pictures of some of my kids? I bet you do ;)

here you see the beautiful Aniyah (with the glasses) and Ayanna. I hang out with them every Monday afternoon. We bake, go to the park, do crafts, talk, and just have some good ol' fun whenever we're together. They're not related, but they're always together, and look sorta alike, so people call them "the twins". They act like they HATE this... but I think they secretly love it. I mean, come on, just look at how happy they are together ;)

For one of my art lessons I took my kids outside to do chalk murals on the side walk. But of course, I let them lay on pavement in any position they wanted so we could trace their bodies. Here you see an awesome 4th grader named Nasir. He's got a little fro-hawk, and is probably one of the sweetest kids I've met in all of Camden.

In this photo you see Hiram (on the right) and TJ (in the headlock). These boys are also in 4th grade, and definitely intimidated me the first day I met them. They're both husky and like to appear tough as nails. Thought the the former is true, the latter definitely isn't. Yea, they cause trouble in my art class 60% of the time, but during that other 40% their absolutely golden. I love these boys. By the way, they're cousins and live in a little house together with 9 other family members. definitely a tight squeeze.

Here you see Jason (on the right) and Aaron (on the left). These brothers are so chubby that they their bums shake from side to side whenever they run. Its adorable. Jason, whose in Kindergarten speaks in one word sentences, and is always snacking on chicken wings and slurpees. He cries a lot and is only ever consoled by his brother Aaron (who's in the first grade) or his cousin Jessica (a 2nd grader). Aaron is always smiling and is enthusiastic about everything under the sun. He too loves chicken wings and slurpees, and is constantly working to keep Jason happy. Its kind of cute. (also, these boys are two of the 4 asian students we get. I love being around them cause they remind me of vancouver and my friends back home... ;] )

This is Vance Carter (affectionately named after Vince Carter who played for the Toronto Raptors) and he is little trouble maker. He's in the second grade and bullies kids twice his size. but when they come 'round to bully him back he cries and cries and runs to me or another leader for help. He's overtly defiant. You tell him to go left, he'll proudly look at you and march right. Sometimes he annoys the hell out of me, and I just have to let him cry out his frustration till he's ready to talk right with me. But... I actually love this child. He is one of the most passionate children we have at camp. His face radiates with life every time I see him. He's expressive, and is an awesome story teller. Though he always runs to the wrong net when he has the basketball (without fail) the look on his face exudes pure determination and fight. His smile is spectacular. Yea, he's a trouble maker, but at least he's passionate and full of life. He's definitely one of my favorite kids.

Here you see me with Shayla. Yes, together we are Shayna and Shayla. I hang out with her and three other girls every thursday afternoon. She's a spunky little first grader who's extremely dramatic but a thrill to be around. I love her. Funny thing. As a camp we're collecting change to help send a team of teenagers to Honduras. Well, little Shayla didn't realize Honduras is a country, and eagerly came up to me one day with question after question about our coming trip to outer space! And this girl was dead serious! She excitedly told me that she'd never been outside of the sky before and wanted to know whether I'd left the earth yet myself. It was a great moment! And good for her, I thought! Why shouldn't we be able to collect enough money to go to outer space? I had to break the sad news to her that we aren't leaving the planet anytime soon, but I was proud of her thinking big ;)

alright, I've gotta peace outta this thing. But I'll add some more pictures of kids a little later.

Thanks for being interested!

my life is good here in Camden, New Jersey. it is very good.

I gotta be honest, I love being the art teacher. I love the squeals of excitement as the first and second graders mix their own purples, oranges, and greens. I love chatting with the kids as I walk them home in the hot hot heat of the afternoon. i love living on meager food rations, in an un-airconditioned home, in the blistering heat. It's tough but I love it. I love baking brownies with my first grade girls, and playing tag with my 4th graders. i actually love coaching basketball, and love pushing the kids to do their best during their exciting but difficult basketball games. i love it.

I wont lie, the kids often get on my nerves, my housemates (and I) can be inconsiderate and a pain in the ass to be around, the heat drains me and leaves me exhausted, and my voice is perpetually gone... but still I can't shake the underlying sense of purpose and meaning. it is just so good.

my heart is being challenged regarding some of the prejudgements I have about life in inner cities. the teenage pregnancies, the gang violence, the drug market... I can't claim to really get any of it, but I feel my heart softening towards the young men and women (and the old) who walk these paths. There is just something about Camden that draws me in. There is something about the people here, something in the strength and the perserverance etched in their faces that captures me. it's a humbling thing.

i stood quietly in my classroom today at about 10pm, all was dark save the christmas lights that lined the white board. I just wanted to soak in the moment- the reality that I am an art teacher in an inner city, and there I stood in my very own classroom. I have no idea how I got here, but Lord knows I'm overjoyed that I am.

one day at a time, my heart is growing up.
mm, mm, mm.

ps.

my dear friend Ashley from CherryHill, NJ asked me today "Shayna, does Canada have their own language?". I tried not to laugh in her face. but I failed...

ha! O america.

my heart is gripped.

camp today went great. but I just went through something with that 17 year old young man I told ya'll about a few posts back. His heart is so broken, he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and for some reason he chooses to tell me about it. He says he's got no love in his life. none at all. There is hope in this one girl he has feelin's for, but things aren't workin' out right with her. He told me that last week he went back to his old ways- pushin' drugs. i asked him why, and he replied "I'm lookin' for a way to die".

my heart dropped. i didn't know what to say. for a long moment we were both silent. i couldn't preach at him. it was no time for bible verses, theological arguments, eloquent speeches or anything like that. but I wouldn't have said any of that even if I knew how. i just spoke to him. words about God. such unworthy words about God. but the only words i had. i didn't tell him what to believe or how to believe. i didn't tell him anything christian. but i held his hand, and spoke the little i knew.

seek and you'll find, seek and you'll find, seek and you'll find.
lord, let him seek.